i don’t even know how reliable rate my professor is, yet i still go on to check on my teachers. i guess any feedback is feedback at all, but i’m afraid i’ll walk into the class with expectations that will cloud my original judgement of the teacher. maybe the students that criticized them aren’t good students themselves, or maybe the professor was only a crappy teacher because they never showed up and that first and only meeting determined everything about them to the student. i feel like a teacher’s potential is mostly based on a the words behind this website, but at the same time, i wondered how many of these are false commentaries over a tiny grudge. maybe some are even trap cards — a terrible professor praised so that the next students that stumble upon this review will suffer under the same wrath. 

it reminds me a little bit about yelp. how some people criticized the whole foundation over a petty thing — not enough tables, always crowded, the boba isn’t the right chewiness to them, a worker did not provide 100% of their time with them. you have to understand the other perspective. perhaps there is not enough tables because it’s a crowded friday night and this is a tiny store. perhaps it’s always crowded because students are out from school on a weekend night after a dance or football game. perhaps the boba isn’t the right chewiness to you, but everyone else enjoys it all the same. perhaps this worker has other customers to serve, food/ drinks to deliver, as well as take order and sending out these orders. and it’s not their fault, perhaps it was not a good day. but it doesn’t determine everything.. it doesn’t determine the quality of the place, it only tells one tiny droplet of information compared to the whole rainfall.

Tonight, I’m afraid of being alone. Please don’t leave me until I fall asleep.

lately i’ve been insecure about nearly everthing

i wanted to write a quick post of appreciation. i was having problems with the system for summer school at elac. the system wouldn’t let me add the class i wanted because i had some prereqs they said i have to take. it bothered me for the longest time over the weekend (the office isn’t open on weekends) and stressed me out quite a bit. finally, on monday, i went up there to fill out a request to exempt me from that class. i had my unofficial transcript to show that i’ve taken that course and passed it already. i went home empty handed, just waiting for a notice in the mail the next ten days. but then, i received the notice in the mail today, only two days after submission. while it has been approved, there was a mistake.

thinking i had to make time and return back to the school really annoyed me, considering i went all the way out of my way to do so the first time already. it isn’t even my fault the system is faulty, considering i could add the class i wanted without a problem in the first place. i thought it is such a waste of time running these mindless errands. eventually, i decided to make the smart decision to call them. perhaps they could help me. so i explained my situation. although the first person tried to help, he wasn’t very successful in doing so. he transferred me to a lady, who i explained the same story to. by now, i’ve begun to get restless.. it’s the same cycle of repeating a story until they tell me they can’t help me. but this lady — she understood my problem right away, and within five minutes had it fixed.

i thanked her and told her i appreciate her efforts in assisting me. after she cleared me of those prereqs, i finally added the class i’ve been holding. what made me most anxious is not the tedious steps to getting my classes, but the rare class opportunities that the school provides. hundreds of students fight for the same classes every day, but i was lucky to have a few to choose from. what made me anxious was the thought of those opportunities slipping away.

why does leonardo dicaprio always end up dead in the water with no girlfriend

• cleaned my room
• dusted corners i swear i didn’t even know existed
• cleaned desk and threw away old shit
• caught up with bestiful
• ran errands i vowed to do a few months ago
• ordered early birthday gifts online (i usually procrastinate till the week of the birthday and freak out what to get people)
• put aside money for ethan’s shoes !
• added some money into my very neglected swear bank
• stayed in bed for hours

• just two more finals away from being free 
• i woke up in the morning and ended up talking to connie on the phone for an hour or two
• i think i called her because i was too old/ lazy to text so early in the morning
• ended up lying in bed for a few more hours
• bought food from bun bun and heard the saddest story ever
• changed my life, i swear
• delivered food to babe at work because omg he’s like a baby that needs to be fed -_-
• decided to be productive and that resulted in cafe maji with a bestiful date with tracy
• peach tea and mango tea + additional strawberry waffle !
• au79 to “observe” someone
• why did we even go to the mall
• home and finally doing the studying i vowed to do last week