It took me a few years to figure out that you can’t help people who don’t want to be saved.
nick meek photographs costa rica covered in flower petals for sony
I’ve been struggling to write a post the entire day. Today is considered productive. I woke up, went out to grab a bite, and immediately went home to hit the books. What i dislike greatly about my schedule is that on certain days, there is no room for me to actually sit down, take a breather, and do my homework. This forces me to work on assignments ahead of time - before anyone else in my group begins to even think about working on them. As a result, there is no one to help me. Instead, I’m left to learn on my own. I end up helping them instead. Frankly, I don’t mind because we’re all in this together… as cliche as that sounds. But it’d just be so damn nice to have someone to fall back on for once. What the last two weeks taught me is to trust no one. Those that promise to do their homework will resort to stabbing you in the back. They will play the selfish role and strip away your hard work and make you lose those points just because they are too damn lazy. They will ignore your texts and make up some sort of lame excuse the next day.
My professor is a brilliant man. He’s inspiring and he is realistic. He doesn’t tell you to give up on your dreams. Instead, he challenges you to get there. I’m happy to be able to take his class this summer, but at the same time… I want to finish this session altogether.
marry someone whose laughter sounds better than your favorite song
One year ago…
life’s a time bomb. you’re in between waiting anxiously for your registration time to fight for classes, waiting at the orthodontist to tighten your braces, waiting in traffic, or waiting for a flight at the airport. through all that waiting, one eventually learns to be patient. maybe not willingly at first, maybe with reluctance, but you realize that as tedious a task waiting may be.. sometimes waiting isn’t the problem after all. time can fly. and time does fly. it can fly right out the window, the seasons will change and relationships/ friendships can evolve in just a blink of an eye.
this summer is a game changer. throughout the course of just three months — actually no, even less — i learned and grew through these challenges and obstacles. time played a vital role. to surround yourself with people that are important to you in your life and cherish the small things and big moments while you have the time to.. is one of the biggest lessons. there are people who walk into your life with the sole purpose of walking back out. there are others who stay temporary, leave a mark, and will forever be embedded in your mind. even more so, there are others that have dramatically changed your life and perspective and no distance and no time can restrict that relationship. you grow together, and you grow apart. you learn together, and you learn apart. these lessons are taught based on you as an individual will give you the power to teach others. to find yourself and tell others your stories, to teach them your lessons, to share your experiences. and i learned that the hard way. that there is no right path, no right answer.. just a different path taken, different story told, and different experience waiting.
one of the biggest human flaws is not cherishing what you have until it’s gone. without absence, you don’t appreciate it’s presence. but absence doesn’t guarantee the presence, and many times absence is loneliness. it takes a lot of time, effort, and acceptance to realize what you have is no longer in your possession. so don’t lose it. life is a time bomb.. cut the bullshit, stop the games, drop the attitude and cherish the ones closest to you. because in a blink of an eye and a puff of smoke, that opportunity can be lost. ain’t no one got time to be waiting there forever. why waste time ignoring someone because of the past to regret it later in the future? why not cherish the time you have and not waste it to prove something that proves nothing?
and these lessons learned have been taught by you. you have taught me to value life, accept my feelings, cherish others, and follow my heart. you have generously and patiently taught me so much in just a few brief pages of this summer. and yeah, not all the thanks in the world can show my appreciation. i feel truly blessed to be able to meet and get to know an individual so open minded and understanding. as the single digits drop, every day seemed to get shorter and shorter. your departure becomes more clearer of a reality than it was before. it’s really bittersweet. i want to send you off happily and well, but the solemn feeling of losing you for a year makes me sad. even with you here, i miss you terribly.
i really can’t imagine the last year without you. to meet you five years ago was a blessing that slipped away and left unacknowledged. to meet you again.. to talk endless conversations, to smile through tears, to laugh through heartbreaks and problems, to cry over stupid shit in such a short period of time really puts a lot of perspective on life. our deep talks in the middle of the afternoon or late at night, the “us” time hidden away in a cafe looking around in fear of eavesdroppers, the stupid humor and puns, the memorable yet often forgotten thoughts we remember after we hugged good bye.. all these, as cheesy as it may sound, will remain in my heart forever. i will surely miss those insomnia nights — at war between mind vs. tea — our study sessions turned shopping addiction, the VIP service at work, our own private message box via text, the surprise visits and spontaneous food runs, and our princess days spoiling ourselves together. there’s always so much to laugh about, so much to cry about, and so much to bitch about. to vent and relieve stress.. ain’t kidding when they said twice the happiness and half the pain.
but life moves on. one year is a very long time. it’s 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes. 7,000 miles is very far away but no time and no distance will change those happy times and memories. sure, a lot will change in a year.. but i’m happy and thankful for what we have now. yeah, this summer.. i met people who have motivated me to live well and live free. i met you. and to be a bigger and better person.. to appreciate and value the element of time.. to be happy, thank you.
yes, i am eternally grateful. as much as it’s hard to leave behind everything, i hope you’re excited for this adventurous new chapter. because i am happy, for you.