despite hating finals like crazy, i love the shortened day. getting out at 12 and having so much time on my hands to do whatever i want to do — it’s a great feeling. i think that’s one of the few pros of finals. on tuesday, my finals were easy peasy. on wednesday, it got harder but it wasn’t impossible to deal with, and on thursday .. i was slightly worried but i thought it turned out alright. little did i know that one stupid final could drop me 6% and i lost the A i had worked so hard for the whole semester. i’m not even kidding. when i checked my grades, i thought it was a mistake. but getting a C on my final took me down. sadly, there’s nothing i could do about it. and it seems stupid but i was so close to tears too. i just thought my hard work would pay off in the end and i was just so close to a 4.0 for the first time in my high school life. to be honest, i am still clinging to that very thin strand of hope that my teacher would feel bad for me and round :X it just kinda threw all my confidence of getting into any college right out the window. then yesterday, when i checked online on my application status for one of my schools, it says the decision has been made and my admission was offered. i had a mini heart attack. now i’m just going to wait for the acceptance letter in the mail because it’s going to take some time to get to california -_-

thursday was a fun day though :) i went bowling with tiffany, emmelynn and jenny. we went to eat at a dimsum place first. and i forgot that i don’t really like dimsum. minus the fact that none of us really spoke cantonese. so funny. we went to yogurtland afterwards and yogurt was so good. then bowling .. i can’t remember the last time i bowled. i think it’s over a year ago. at first, it kept rolling into the gutter which was so disappointing. wii bowling is so much easier. but it was really, really fun. i was really sleepy around 5, and i left first after getting boba :) napped, took a shower, and dinner. on friday, i talked to my counselor and i got myself a free first. now regina and i can go to school together :D just kidding. after a disappointing day at school, i went home to drop off and get my stuff and met up with shirley and suki. my right eye was annoyingly swollon. we had to wait for andy to drop off michelle’s phone, and then we went to shirley’s house :) well, we went to quickly’s first and i got a peach slush. went to hang at shirley’s house and had the funniest time shooting zombies and playing other games. haven’t really felt like texting so i missed a lot of important texts .. i went home in time to shower, eat, and watch the chuck finale !! it was so sad, but it’s makes it x56461654 sadder that it’s the last episode ever. i cried :( 

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it’s absolutely ridiculous. how can i not, when i applied to so many?
yet those feelings of doubt have always been here. thousands of people out there, competing for the same darn spot i so much desired. how can i compete with all those straight A’s and 4.0’s? faced with people with more knowledge in their brains than i had accumulate my four years, it made me feel like nothing. no matter what i did or how hard i tried, it felt like it wasn’t enough. not enough to satisfy what all these colleges want. not enough to put me on the same scale as everyone else. what i want has never been within my reach. so while everyone else received their acceptance letters, i became more and more afraid.

so how relieved was i when i got accepted to my first out of state college? very.

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i’m sorry, but am i suppose to invite you to everything? i absolutely hate it when people take this line too far. should i invite you to my family dinner? and ask you to hang with me when i’m out with friends that you don’t know at all? oh please. don’t make it awkward for both you and me.

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what difference does it make that you dropped 1% when you have a 98%?
it doesn’t really mean that much when it just shows the letter grade on your report card. shouldn’t you just be happy that you’re doing well? it’s a given that most finals are hard and often times they do bring you down. but i think it’s an overreaction to be bitching about that mere percent. you have an A, dammit. reminds me of someone last year who endlessly complained about the exact same thing. you’re not at that much of a loss. unless you’re at borderline. which clearly, you are not.