i can’t believe i didn’t like them when i was younger.
but when again, don’t we all? the last two days i had only six hours of sleep overall. i was exhausted and tired and dead the whole day. during trig i felt like giving up and just sleeping there regardless of whatever happens. but when i got home, i ate and later fell asleep for two hours :) well i woke up an hour later and was super cranky cause the phone woke me up. but then i went back and continued my nap and i woke up another hour later feeling awesome. i really can’t wait till christmas. tomorrow is already december. wee, my birthday is coming up too. i love the month of december !
i woke up this morning and it was 41 degrees. i thought it was so cold. i don’t know how i’m going to survive in a colder state. i forgot my water bottle second day in a row so i was super thirsty at some point. and then i was going to buy a bottle at lunch but i also left my wallet in my other bag. first period was such a drag today; we did venn diagrams on the characters of the great gatsby and of mice and men for our upcoming essay. and i thought that was the stupidest thing because we barely started of mice and men. second period was so boring. third was okay, the miniature christmas trees are so cute with small cute ornaments :) fourth period was also boring but the video we watched was a little bit interesting and fifth was horrible. i calculated my gpa and if i get a C in trig i can still get a 3.6 gpa. but i am somewhat still unsatisfied.
so you know how we had thanksgiving break last week. well, i haven’t talked to someone during the whole break at all. and usually we don’t really talk much but i find it quite obvious that we enjoy each other’s company. he’ll tease me a lot and i make fun of him sometimes. or a lot of the times. yesterday i felt like he somewhat really missed me :) and it was a really good feeling and i thought it was cute. cause it was really obvious he was waiting for me after class. i’m glad to know such awesome people :) anyways, back to the depressing subject. math quiz tomorrow and i need to study after dinner.
sometimes late at night i think about all the things that have been, all the things that haven't been and all the things yet to be. i wonder if this world will ever make sense to me, if i will ever truly understand anything, or if there’s really anything to understand at all.
why is it that when you finally feel like you're letting go, that person somehow pops back into your life? whether it's a photo, a text, memories, or even a personal conversation, all those feelings you once had come back. it's a never ending process that i guess you never really let go of.
body is tired, but mind is not.
someone just inject me with a sedative. kidding. a lot have been on my mind lately. it’s rather exhausting. stress. there’s school, personal problems, and my health doesn’t seem too good either. my sister has been sick this week, and i fear that she’s going to get me sick too. earlier she coughed right on me and i snapped at her to keep her germs away from or at least attempt to. i don’t want to get sick just like that. i went to bed around midnight last night and tossed and turned and finally fell asleep at 3. only to be woken up by the alarm three hours later. that’s why i am so tired. it’s really cold in the morning and at night too. i realize next year college apps is going to be a huge problem. to begin with, i don’t know where i want to go or what i want to do. i have an idea, but let’s get real, nothing is as easy as it seems. i haven’t even taken the SAT’s yet. i feel behind. but i’m planning to take it this school year. and a few more times next year. to sum it up, i’m worried for my future and i can’t sleep.
today was rather alright. besides almost falling asleep in every class. in first period we took vocab quiz and it was super easy for me. and i got rather piss when everyone took my paper which was for me to study and started writing on their desks to cheat or their hands. it’s super easy and it wouldn’t kill them to take 10 minutes out of their lives to study. and i really dislike this guy. i let my friend study the paper and he wants to see it, and when she said no he said fuck you. i don’t like those kind of people. if you don’t take time out for yourself, why should i waste my time for you? i was apathetic and dead the whole day. in fourth we got our groups :) then i got angry at this friend because they are so demanding and inconsiderate. hypocrites these days. you always contradict yourself. someone says something. you hate it. then other people like it. and suddenly you like it too? all in the same day. impressive. sighs, and trig is horrible like usual. quiz wed, test friday. i’m so sad. i guess i’m okay with a C. but i want a B.
just trust that she loves you. trust that those other guys she talks to don't mean as much as you do. sometimes you gotta be jealous, but it shows her how much you care. just don't let jealousy be a reason to every fight.