erudition — deep extensive learning
i apologize for the load of reblogs. i’m not going to be on much tonight because i am going to actually work hard on my first math assignment. it’s suppose to be really easy but i find it strangely hard. could be because i do not understand what my teacher is saying .. everyone tells me she is nice and all, but so far i think she’s mean. i’m not that loud in class, but i don’t think she likes me already. so i woke up early, fearing that i would be late. and man, there were so many people in line. luckily, i saw tracy and jessica lining up, so i slyly cut them. and member when i said i dropped psychology so i can be in the same math class as my ohana ? funny story. she got her schedule first and while waiting in the line with jessica to pick up our schedules .. we were talking bout how hilarious it would be if after all that effort, we get same periods, same class but different teacher. and surprise, surprise, that is exactly what happened. oh dear god. well, after being very disappointed, i went to explore the C building with wilson and found where our mandarin class is gonna be. ran into a lot of people, and the new freshmen are fucken rude. speak up and apologize when you practically ran someone over.
first period: i have american literature. walked in feeling all small and queasy. saw people i know, and felt better. haha, what did i expect ? monkeys ? well then, i sat in front of bethany, pretty close to the front. seems like that class is going to be fun. teacher that was suppose to be here .. was not. instead we had a long term sub, and he said there’s a possibility that he may be hired instead. very interesting. but i ain’t complaining, he looks chill.
second period: i have physics. although i was in that class for roughly 40 minutes, i already despise this class. i could not believe i let my friend convince me to take this class. i already know gravity is not the reason why people fall in love. but he assured me that he’ll help me if i ever need help. they all tell me that. hopefully, i don’t fall apart before that. the teacher is pretty cool, but we already had a seating chart upon walking in. and he made me spit out my gum. i like chewing gum. and i don’t like my seat. and i kinda don’t really understand what he’s saying unless i put in a lot of thought and effort. something i find myself unwilling to do.
third period: i have mandarin. walked all the way to the C building, hoping and praying i would not be late. i wasn’t. that class so far is fun. because many of the people i love very much are in there. many, but not all. i know the teacher and he’s kinda boring. after ten minutes, i was already able to tune out his voice. and that’s not good. cause that means he’s very boring, and me paying attention is not likely. but hopefully friend in the back will kick my chair and force me to pay attention between me texting people. there, i found out jessica and pamela are in my class !! :0 what a nice surprise !
fourth period: i have tech theater. by far, this is my favorite class. i love it. cody had assured me that it would be far most the easiest, funniest, interesting, and best class. and he’s right. the sad thing is that .. there are about over forty people in that class. and class capacity was around 26. therefore the remaining people will be pulled out. the whole class period, the teacher told us stories and took roll and interviewed us. i felt like i had a pretty good chance of staying in that class. and pamela is in that class with me too !! :0 that was definitely a surprise and i was so happy : D it’s going to be fun !
fifth period: i have trig. this is the second class i extremely despise. funny how they are math or math related. i like the people in it .. maybe. but like i said earlier in the intro of this post, to me it seems like my teacher has already found a dislike toward me. part of the reason would probably be she thinks i’m rude. on the slip of paper when we get our textbooks, we write down who our teacher is. and i just put her last name instead of addressing her properly. if that’s the case, that is extremely ridiculous. but then again, i guess i am not the quietest in the class. let’s hope that she is very nice like what everyone else says.
i shall stop here, because sixth period isn’t so interesting. what an interesting day today. i hope the bad classes that i don’t like as of now will pick up and grow on me as this year begins. hopefully there aren’t any sudden changes. this year, i will work hard.
you say you love her. so why aren’t you chasing after her? fuck what others say. if she makes you smile like that, laugh like that then she needs to be a part of your life. go run to her classroom and look for her and the grab her and say how you feel. maybe she doesn’t feel the same, maybe she does. you never know. take the chance before she passes you by.
sometimes i'm lazy, i get bored. i get scared, i feel ignored. i feel happy, i get silly. i choke on my own words. i make wishes, i have dreams and i still want to believe anything can happen in this world, for an ordinary girl.
i have put up with bad news after bad news for the past few weeks.
there are so many things i wish i can change. or prevent from happening. i woke up this morning and was asked whether if moving during the school year affected my studies. wait, what ? since when were we moving ? you tell me the plans aren’t final, but i can just feel that this is what you want. okay, that’s now what i want. has anybody ever asked me what i want ? i want to stay here. here in sunny california. here where it’s my home. i want to graduate with the people i know now and have grown up with. i want to lead my own life and not be told what to do, where to go, and how i should live it. i want to wake up in the morning, walk out of the house and know exactly who i am going to see. i want to do what i want now so i don’t have to regret it later. yeah, i don’t want to look back and wish i had done something different. but it seems like what i want doesn’t matter. seriously, as if the last week wasn’t chaotic enough. then there was this week. and this now. as if i haven’t sacrificed so much already. i sure moved a lot as a kid. and i honestly believed that that had changed. we had agreed that i’d finish high school first, so what’s up with this ?! this is just so sudden. i may not have everything in my life planned out as of now, but i know this is what i want. i just despise the fact that i have no say in this. i know i have sacrificed so much already, and i don’t want to give up what i want just so things can be more convenient for everyone else. i don’t want to give up everything. i don’t want to start all over. i am sick and tired of that.
you think you're not pretty, someone is wishing to be as pretty as you. you want more money, people are in poverty. you want a boyfriend, someone doesn't even have parents. you're hungry, a child is starving. you want to go to the mall, someone is looking for anything to wear just to stay warm. you're chilly, others are frozen. you just want to die, most people are striving to live. so don't waste your time on things that you think you don't have, because there is always someone out there who needs what you have.