doesn’t time fly?
nah, february felt like forever. i didn’t feel like blogging today but i saw tracy’s post and i decided to vent my anger. so there’s this girl, and apparently she’s been using the same excuse since last may about the same things over and over again. and frankly, i am very sick of it. it’s been almost a year. i mean, wouldn’t you get tired of hearing it too? apparently, she likes to make things very complicated. to begin with, the whole talk about sportsmanship. as if you know what it is. because from what i know, sulking over a loss is normal. you aren’t always going to win. but dramatically running out and crying isn’t exactly called normal. are you trying to buy sympathy or something? it happens like every time. if you are so emotionally unstable, i suggest you get some therapy. the school psychiatrist is available. i heard she’s a total sweetheart. and about sportsmanship, wow. talking shit behind someone’s back. throwing dirty looks. putting a nice front and then running home and write a whole status about how you were disrespected, and how we have no sportsmanship? i am feeling the love. go to hell. acting like you are the poor victim doesn’t really work, and i am so sick and tired of dealing with your shit. not only is it annoying; it’s stupid. first you suddenly drop out, bailed and three days before the oh so exciting game, you come running back, practically begging to play. you make it so hard to not hate you. with your attitude and personality, it must be hard to make friends.
but today sucks too. first period was full of tension. well, we had a quiz and the sub was going to let us use our books, but of course, someone just has to butt in and piss the whole class off. second, typed notes. third, boring. fourth, sat there and talked. and ate my lunch. it seems like i am always hungry now. and then played cards. very chill. we had project green yearbook pictures today. took forever. fifth, i was so sad. and sixth was alright. no comment, but seriously awkward. i decide i am going to put most of my feelings aside, or at least try to and concentrate on school. yesterday, i wrote nine pages in my journal, and i felt so much better. sometimes, it’s just too hard to say things on tumblr.
i've learned that no matter how much i care, some people are just assholes. i've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. i've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others; they are more screwed up than you think. i've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken away from you too soon, and all the less important ones just never go away.
i’ve been sitting at my desk for over three hours ..
putting together a newsletter that is due tomorrow. it better be due tomorrow, because i’m spending sunday afternoon doing this, while i could be doing other stuff. it doesn’t help that i get easily distracted either. i’m happy to say i finish my part and it looks organized. but i’m still waiting on one group member who hasn’t sent me his part yet. this is one reason i really hate group assignments. unless it’s with people you know well, i prefer working alone. you can only rely on yourself to get the task done. so here i am, refreshing my email hoping he’ll send it anytime soon.
i woke up with crazy bed hair and i tried to comb it. and it got stuck on my comb. i woke up at 11. and ate breakfast. i haven’t had cereal in a long time :) and read the chapter, worked on the newsletter and later lunch and back to newsletter. i finally caught up on the latest ep of pretty little liars and i can’t wait for tomorrow’s episode. my daddios came home with donuts ! yum, it looks good but i’m holding back on eating it because i eat too much. tomorrow’s also the last day of february and even though it’s only 28 days, it feels longer. this week is going to be busy busy. oh and for those of you in project green, we’re taking yearbook pictures tomorrow at lunch at the new gym. remember to show up and spread the word, please.
hi, i’m single.
uh, life’s good. it’s not like i’m looking for anything right now. school first. i know people who are very uncomfortable and upset about being single, but you don’t have to have a boyfriend to be happy. but it’s so cute to see couples together and they are super happy. and the pictures we all see online on fuckyeaahcutecouples are super cute and make me go aw but it doesn’t really upset me or anything. i have a friend and the way she talks about her boyfriend is so cute. she smiles and giggles and she’s definitely in love with him. we tease her about it and honestly, i think she secretly enjoys it. i remember just a few days ago, she was sitting on the bench and holding her boyfriend’s jacket. well, basically she was hugging it. then again, i remember someone telling me how she wishes she has a boyfriend to share everything with and she was very sad about it. anyways, for me single life is good.
i ate a whole box of cookies.
i don’t regret it, but i’m starting to get a sore throat again. so i’m chugging down water because it’s suppose to solve everything right? it’s been okay, this saturday is pretty good. just not that cheerful. on thursday, we had a fire drill so the day passed by pretty quick. i kept replaying the conversation i had with someone the day before. it’s stuck to my head. for one, i’m still shocked that they actually told me something that’s very personal to them. and then i wonder why. i mean, we don’t have to be best friends but during the two years since i met this person, they were never this straightforward and honest. the next day, everything was back to normal and he’s his usual pain-in-the-ass self and i’m left feeling like i can’t take the whole conversation seriously.
friday was okay. totally forgot about a quiz i had. need to start a newsletter and put it together. i had stayed up studying for math but it was still hard. it would have been so much easier if we could use our calculators. apparently, i’m very dependent on it. i was so tired throughout the whole day, and sad too. stupid complications. everything would have been so perfect. if only. but it doesn’t matter, because i’m just not going to go :) well after, we had to deal with rude people. seriously, i felt ashamed for them. you don’t do anything, you don’t contribute, you take advantage of nice people, and you even talk shit behind everyone’s back. just because you speak in another language doesn’t mean we don’t understand. so how dare you just come and freeload off everyone’s money, hard work, and effort? it makes me so angry. people work so hard to get to where they are, while you sit there and eat cake that isn’t even yours. and yet you complain that no one’s giving you a chance. nothing’s going to come your way if you don’t pick your sad ass up and get yourself together. don’t expect anything from us.
today, on the other hand, was really peaceful. i woke up early and was starving, but i didn’t eat anything because i was going to get my blood tested. and while in the waiting room, i suddenly thought of needles and blood and i got really nervous and scared. needles aren’t my thing. so when i was called, they stabbed me with a needle and took two tubes of my super red blood. my arm was shaking and sore afterward. good thing this is not a daily or weekly or monthly thing. i napped, played wii basketball and beat my sister’s high score on table tennis :) i also tried on the clothes i’m going to wear next saturday and i still think the shirt is too big but both my parents told me it was just right. it doesn’t feel right. and then we got into an argument and everyone’s full of angry except my sister who is obsess with bruno mar’s song, grenade.
if i don't text you everyday, it doesn't mean you're not on my mind. if we don't talk for days, it doesn't mean my feelings have changed or i care for you any less. if life takes us in separate directions, i know we will find each other again. love like this is a once in a lifetime thing. nothing could change that.