goodbye, my almost lover
goodbye, my hopeless dream
i’m trying not to think about you can’t you just let me be?
so long, my luckless romance
my back is turned on you
i should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
almost lovers always do
i cannot go to the ocean
i cannot drive the streets at night
i cannot wake up in the morning
without you on my mind
so you’re gone and i’m haunted
and i bet you are just fine
did i make it that easy
to walk right in and out of my life?
.. when you aren’t even taking it.
seriously, people. just because it’s easy for you does not mean it is the same for everyone else. who are you to be judging and telling me i am “lucky”. unless you are in my class and enjoying every second of it, shut up. it’s already bad enough hearing the same things again and again. i am very cranky right now. don’t just look at my grades, see that i do okay and assume that it’s easy. maybe because unlike you, i am actually spending time trying to learn shit. you think i want to? i don’t. but i still do. i’m working to get the grade i deserve.
on the brighter note, today is a pretty good day. time flew, and school wasn’t as long as i thought it would be. there is only seven days left, i really can’t wait to get this over with. i think the best thing that happened today is getting 115% on my powerpoint. the hard work that our group put into it all is worth it in the end. one project is finally over, but we also got another one today. i woke up so tired because i fell asleep at two. i got the same grade for all my tests so far. anyways, after school, there wasn’t as much traffic today because i hurried. and my uncle drove me home and my mom had made viet food so i had banh xiao for lunch :) her friend was also over but left shortly afterwards. and after i finished eating, i felt so good because i was so hungry the whole school day. i fell asleep for about two hours and i woke up tired but happy. i wrote a list of plans i must do before the summer ends, and i am planning to complete each and every one of them. okay, i lied. something just has to ruin the night.
day 29: the day you were happiest this month and why
that day, with those people.
this month kinda sucked because i was sad over a lot of things. the seniors graduating, disagreements among friends, fights with parents, personal shit, summer school, senior stress already — not the summer i had expected. there’s only seven days of summer school left though, so i am looking to the real summer fun. even prince is in the picture :)
.. because she brought me ice cream.
into my room too. and usually she’s all anal about the “no eating in your bedroom” policy. i asked why, and she said, “just because”. and i am actually very upset. i think the heat and allergies are part of why i am so cranky. well, i was pretty upset because my dad called and tried to convince me to lean toward the decision of choosing a particular college again. we’ve already agreed that i’ll make my own decisions from there. but as much as i know he respects that decision of mine, it really feels more like pressure. and i got angry and snapped at him when he told me he already asked for info about those colleges. i know it isn’t a bad thing that they are trying to get me to prepare for the future, but i can’t help feeling that it’s more pressure that assurance. later, he called back two more times, sounding apologetic and explaining to me that i am, in fact, free to make my own decisions. he said he’ll give me an explaination when he comes back soon.
finally, brought my camera somewhere.
but too lazy to actually upload anything. so boring text post coming up. i am very thirsty right now and just got yelled at for staying up late because i haven’t slept that much the past few days. but i feel awake at the moment. i have been working on homework yesterday and today. so proud of myself; i actually got the homework portion done even though it took absolutely forever. and now the project and the studying, all for tuesday. i’m not sick, but i think i’m getting a sore throat. and i think that’s where it all starts. this week is very warm, and it seems like it’s either the fan or ac on all day every day now. i woke up at around ten and then had breakfast which was sara lee pound cake and jasmine green tea. then researched on my topic and went on a bajillion websites to get the facts right. i had dumplings for lunch, yummy. and then went back to work reading articles. walked to sierra vista park and found sherry and paula :) and had matching arizona tea and hello kitty phone charms. so cute. we did some filming for the video and it’s really, really embarrassing. funny, and i don’t know, it went pretty well because lots and lots of laughter. i don’t think i can look anyone in the eye for awhile if the video is played in class. went home, and time flew because when i looked at the clock it was six and dinner. too bad i didn’t get to watch any movies today :(