school feels like it’s never going to end. this year, i began with college apps. first, i did cal states, then uc’s. worked on eop to see if i qualify, some scholarships. eventually, i got to out-of-states and privates. a short two week break and focused on regular school work. started and finished fafsa here or there. and now, i’m suppose to wait for the results. but then i realize it’s not as simple as it seems. because just yesterday, i got mail (yay) to schedule interviews (boo) for this one college. and asdfghjkl; interviews?! i don’t want to. especially on the phone. reject me already, instead of making me go through one more level of hell. cause i know this is a prestigious school, and it’s a long shot that i will get in. i am so thankful i don’t have aps or sport anymore to juggle around for semester one of senior year.
i hate it when someone calls you and when you pick up they tell you to hold on and wait while they talk to someone else. gee, you’re the one who called me so it doesn’t make sense for me to stay on the line while you hold another conversation. maybe you should wait till you’re not busy to give someone a call.
despite hating finals like crazy, i love the shortened day. getting out at 12 and having so much time on my hands to do whatever i want to do — it’s a great feeling. i think that’s one of the few pros of finals. on tuesday, my finals were easy peasy. on wednesday, it got harder but it wasn’t impossible to deal with, and on thursday .. i was slightly worried but i thought it turned out alright. little did i know that one stupid final could drop me 6% and i lost the A i had worked so hard for the whole semester. i’m not even kidding. when i checked my grades, i thought it was a mistake. but getting a C on my final took me down. sadly, there’s nothing i could do about it. and it seems stupid but i was so close to tears too. i just thought my hard work would pay off in the end and i was just so close to a 4.0 for the first time in my high school life. to be honest, i am still clinging to that very thin strand of hope that my teacher would feel bad for me and round :X it just kinda threw all my confidence of getting into any college right out the window. then yesterday, when i checked online on my application status for one of my schools, it says the decision has been made and my admission was offered. i had a mini heart attack. now i’m just going to wait for the acceptance letter in the mail because it’s going to take some time to get to california -_-
thursday was a fun day though :) i went bowling with tiffany, emmelynn and jenny. we went to eat at a dimsum place first. and i forgot that i don’t really like dimsum. minus the fact that none of us really spoke cantonese. so funny. we went to yogurtland afterwards and yogurt was so good. then bowling .. i can’t remember the last time i bowled. i think it’s over a year ago. at first, it kept rolling into the gutter which was so disappointing. wii bowling is so much easier. but it was really, really fun. i was really sleepy around 5, and i left first after getting boba :) napped, took a shower, and dinner. on friday, i talked to my counselor and i got myself a free first. now regina and i can go to school together :D just kidding. after a disappointing day at school, i went home to drop off and get my stuff and met up with shirley and suki. my right eye was annoyingly swollon. we had to wait for andy to drop off michelle’s phone, and then we went to shirley’s house :) well, we went to quickly’s first and i got a peach slush. went to hang at shirley’s house and had the funniest time shooting zombies and playing other games. haven’t really felt like texting so i missed a lot of important texts .. i went home in time to shower, eat, and watch the chuck finale !! it was so sad, but it’s makes it x56461654 sadder that it’s the last episode ever. i cried :(
this year, one of my worst fears was not getting into any college at all
it’s absolutely ridiculous. how can i not, when i applied to so many? yet those feelings of doubt have always been here. thousands of people out there, competing for the same darn spot i so much desired. how can i compete with all those straight A’s and 4.0’s? faced with people with more knowledge in their brains than i had accumulate my four years, it made me feel like nothing. no matter what i did or how hard i tried, it felt like it wasn’t enough. not enough to satisfy what all these colleges want. not enough to put me on the same scale as everyone else. what i want has never been within my reach. so while everyone else received their acceptance letters, i became more and more afraid.
so how relieved was i when i got accepted to my first out of state college? very.
if you have ever taken a razor blade to that beautiful body of yours, skipped one or more meals, cried yourself to sleep because you never thought you were good enough, attempted any sort of self harm, had thoughts of taking your own life, or actually tried it, reblog this.
i’m sorry, but am i suppose to invite you to everything? i absolutely hate it when people take this line too far. should i invite you to my family dinner? and ask you to hang with me when i’m out with friends that you don’t know at all? oh please. don’t make it awkward for both you and me.
people who are so anal about their grades when they are acing the class anyway
what difference does it make that you dropped 1% when you have a 98%? it doesn’t really mean that much when it just shows the letter grade on your report card. shouldn’t you just be happy that you’re doing well? it’s a given that most finals are hard and often times they do bring you down. but i think it’s an overreaction to be bitching about that mere percent. you have an A, dammit. reminds me of someone last year who endlessly complained about the exact same thing. you’re not at that much of a loss. unless you’re at borderline. which clearly, you are not.
let’s just say friday was a terrible day. i ended up crying to sleep, but yaknow what they say .. there’s always a rainbow after the rain. funny, because it’s raining the whole day tomorrow. i felt better the next day, if not for the swollen eyes. saturday was spent studying for finals. i did other stuff here and there but it’s mostly to prepare myself for finals this week. it’s ridiculous how my grades are at borderline. i’ve been down like the weather because of allergies. which i can tell you, suck balls. today, i woke up early because of the e-waste event. it wasn’t a very good idea to wear sandals. at first, i felt very out of place because i didn’t know what to do, but luckily, there were some people like cat there already :) it made things easier. it’s interesting how at times there’s no cars at all, and then other times, the cars come in packs -_- so we’re either standing around doing nothing or busy running and talking to the people. interesting how things always turn out, no? while rummaging through the boxes to organize some things, i came upon a very yellow nano ipod. it was unscratched and so new. i can’t believe it’s considered “electronic waste”. i tried to turn it on, and it still worked perfectly. just low on batteries. i showed dave and we both can’t get over just recycling it. it’s crazy. then we went through other boxes and found a box full of nintendo 64 games and that brought back a lot of memories. and the game boy (without the color) and vcr tapes. i intended on staying two hours but i ended up staying four. it was really tiring in the end. when i got home, i got a headache :( i showered and ate a super late lunch. starving. i watched tv. listened to music. lie in bed trying to take a nap. haha, ended my sunday night doing laundry and i don’t want to go to school tomorrow and finals this week ..
hi :) i get most of my shorts at hollister, abercrombie, and sometimes forever. sometimes it’s hard to find my size though, so it really depends. i get my flats in the mall.. usually the west covina one. they sell flats in every shoe store so it’s not that hard to find if you’re looking.