field trip yesterday was pretty fun :) okay, that might be an exaggeration because god knows i went because i wanted to skip class and for the free food (who can say no to free food?). but because of it, i managed to survive what feels like the longest week ever. the downside is waking up an hour earlier and having to make up some work. i knew i should have brought a book in case things got boring, but i thought that’d be rude if the speakers were talking. it was similar to a townhall, actually. people told me this year wasn’t as active as last year because they actually made something last year, but i don’t really mind. one of our guest speakers was tamera from twitches ! the crazy thing is half the room literally dropped everything, picked up their phones or camera, and ran to the podium to be closer to her. it was an interesting day spent with tiffany, emmelynn, nicole, and sylvia :) the other bad thing is my parents (who i am not in good terms with lately, sad face -_-) became suspicious that i ditched school because one of my teachers marked me absent and they received a phone call regarding my absence from school. today is even more complicated, when i decided to discuss with them my “plans” for college and they overreacted over dinner. it’s not even reasonable and they don’t even hear me out before they jump in with their accusations and judgement. so pissed i skipped dinner. i took a three hour nap though and it felt good.
i woke up at 9:30. unbelievable that i suck at sleeping in now. what is this. well, i woke up and showered and had breakfast. i ended up watching tv and reading and just lying there texting. i had pizza for lunch which i remember clearly because i was starving. went out afterwards to get balloons and i love balloons :) too bad they weren’t for me. my mom helped me wrap the gifts which was for nellie and emmelynn, but i was told nellie had work. i brought it anyway to emmelynn’s house so she could give it to her on monday. i don’t really see nellie at school. it’s nothing extravagant but i hate carrying a lot of things to school. my locker is so filled with things varying from jeans (in case i get caught for shorts) and my stock of water bottles. anyways, i was late and everyone — tiffany, jenny, emmelynn — was playing basketball. i joined them and it was really fun :) love the feeling of making a basket. i went to say hi to her parents and they are so nice i love them :) i met them in freshman year at saralynn’s graduation and i’m glad they remember me since. tiffany left early to pick up her brother and pamela came with kathy !! we went out to eat later at nice time cafe and i ordered this noodle thing which was okay but it was so shiny with oil. i skipped out on watching the keppel play with them and i think i will stop by for tenren’s later <3 this morning i spent a lot of time on tumblr because i don’t have anything to do .. going to watch the hunger games with my sister and shop in half an hour with the family :) i didn’t bring anything home from school on friday so i am assuming i do not have homework. right, right?
where did you get accepted to? and where did yhu apply?
uh i applied to cal states, UCs and out of states. i got accepted to u of oregon, whitworth university, northridge, fullerton, riverside, ucsc. still waiting for one i think and wait listed for two. but really, that’s just a nicer rejection.
i have tried numerous times to find the words to express how i feel about my future, but none really came to mind. the truth is i don’t know what to expect. it took forever and quite a lot of waiting for me to realize where i want to go. but i guess i thought too highly of my academic capabilities and i didn’t even get in. how i felt when i opened the envelope .. my hands were shaking and i just knew. i knew but i wasn’t willing to believe it. there was a single sheet of paper inside. as i read the letter, i knew i failed myself. i guess everything after that was thrown out of balance. i was back to square one, where i don’t know what i want to do and where i want to go. i considered appealing, but hey, what are the chances? out of thousands and thousands of applicants, how dare i think i could compare with them? i stayed in bed the rest of the day, depressed that out of the many schools that have accepted me, this one did not.
"our loss will be another university’s gain."
seriously, the nicest rejection letter i got. a few days later came irvine decisions, which again, weren’t in my favor. but i felt nothing, having felt everything already. the last few months i have been eager to get out of here. to start fresh and go on an exciting adventure out of state. but now i am hit with the realization that i would be in so much debt. the more i thought of it, the more depressed i felt. every time someone mentions college, i felt uneasy. how much i longed to have my decision made for me. but it’s okay. i’ll just marry a rich white boy. other than that, i guess i have an idea about my future.
and the funny thing is nobody knew what was between me and you i think about the things we would do this time it was true cause what we had was love on the run and we were having so much fun keepin it movin’, keepin it movin’, i’m sorry we’re done with this love on the run.