I always love the month of December. It’s when winter starts kicking in, and I am freezing my ass off in SoCal. But I love it nonetheless. To think I lived over five years in Oregon and I would have some tolerance for the cold. I guess not. I wondered how I would have survived up there for college if I had the opportunity to go. Layers on layers on layers.
I can’t believe I am turning 20 in a matter of days. No excuses left, I’m entering the twenties. I feel small - I haven’t found my place in the world yet. I haven’t discovered what talents I have, what career I want to pursue, what life I want to live. I have been a drifting soul for too long. I miss the certainty that I once took for granted. But that’s the beautiful thing of growing up. You rise and you fall until you find the perfect medium. What the fuck am I saying.
This is my last week of the semester. Next week will be finals, and the winter break commences. I can’t wait. I will be free from needless worries, anxieties, and personal conflicts. I’m very excited to see everyone again. I’m excited to eat hot pot and have our annual dinner. I’m excited to hug them and hear their stories. I don’t have a lot to share that comes to mind, but it’ll be nice to hear the familiar voices I nearly grew up with the past ten years.
I think one of the best feelings in the world is making someone’s day or night. I just love buying sweets or little things that reminds me of the other individual and giving it to them. It feels better than buying it for myself. It makes me happy that they are happy. I love you guys.
Beanies are in; I am in love with them. I am in love with leggings, I am in love with legwarmers. I love winter wear, sweaters, cardigans and circle scarves. I’m thankful that my shopping haul was not done alone. For the past month, Tracy and I have been shopping crazy. My online purchases have been digging a hole into my wallet, but I am almost always satisfied with my purchases. It makes me happy. Not to fear, not everything is for me. A lot of these purchases are also Christmas gifts! I think this year, I spent the most.
I can’t wait to finish finals, I can’t wait for Disneyland, I can’t wait for spontaneous adventures and beautiful lights, I can’t wait for Christmas, I can’t wait for San Francisco trip, I can’t wait for the winter reunion with my friends, I can’t wait to hang out with my twin!
Just so damn eager to put clothes on because it’s so fucking cold in the morning.
Someone once told me that missing someone is a blessing. Missing someone means that there’s someone to look forward to seeing. But I found it hard to accept. I rather be missed.
I thought I was bloated because it was right before my period but it turns out I was just getting fat. Belly fat.
"I’ll deal with it later," I say as I continue to type in my credit card number.
Debating whether or not to have a nice dinner with old high school friends this year like every other year in the past. This year just feels so.. different. But it’ll be nice to see everyone I don’t hate again.
Christmas shopping for people and retail therapy when I am sad. Just a few clicks and the money is spent.