• register for summer classes ✓
• work work work
• prepare for sonnet presentation
• saturday class 9-12
• watch “rough magic” play 2-4
• banquet 
• mother’s day gift
• work work work
• starbucks happy hour
• prepare for asam presentation

i guess i am officially taking summer school. majority of the classes are gone, but at least i got the only econ class that was open. but the reason that it was open because the professor was probably terrible. he has a 1.9 rating on ratemyprofessor. even my bio professor had a 2.3 rating. i should just be thankful i got a class. the time is shit too. i’ll have to change my whole schedule. what was funny was reading the comments that range from “no just no” to “bad.” was it that terrible. what am i doing with my life.

• i certainly hope my efforts will pay off
• i haven’t tried this hard since freshman high school year
• in the end, that year didn’t even matter much
• so much frustrations over life
• if it all doesn’t pay off, i would seriously lose all motivation

the oh shit moment when your laptop hits 7% and you grab your charger.

i feel like some yelp review are completely bias. anyone can decide to make an account and bash over a such a trivial thing. while feedback is awesome, many form their own opinions before understanding that not everything can be perfect. we try, but that doesn’t mean it will satisfy everyone’s needs. one petty thing leads to a one star review which discourages others. if it’s an old acquaintance who doesn’t like you and want to make your life miserable, they can go on and point out all the flaws of the service, place, and product. if there’s someone who ask you out and is rejected, they can just grab a pen and write a shitty review on you. these actions are so petty and it affects not just one individual but the whole place overall. while yelp is a wonderful invention because it has assisted me multiple times during my adventure endeavor, i feel like there are many negatives as well. some places are extremely underrated while others are way so hyped up. i think it would be nice to give a place a chance because even if it’s not someone’s favorite place, it might be yours.

and yes, i feel like putting your opinion out there, giving feedback, and taking the time to inform others is great. however, when you base your judgement on something so stupid, it’s not fair.

this chick i haven’t talked to in over five years messaged me and i knew something was wrong. why the heck would you start talking to me unless you need something. and i was right, because after your “small talk” you went straight to the point and ask for whatever you needed/ wanted to know. i hate people like this. you’re scared of the real world. step up your game and stop finding a shortcuts from the people in your life.

ME (TO MY COWORKER): i just remember a joke
COWORKER: let’s hear it
ME: it’s more like an insult
ME: “if you were a cookie, you’d be a whoreo”
COWORKER: *just looks at me*
ME: *walks away*
ME: *hears her laughing*

i love how my math teacher knows which homework is mine despite accidentally forgetting to put my name on the paper. he gets to know each of his students and builds a connection with them — which is why it makes taking his class enjoyable. this is a subject in which i tend to hate and struggle hardest on, yet despite that.. i have yet to miss a single class and i am genuinely trying hard.

now i am just going to study and pray i pass this exam. cries.

ME: would you like samples?
CUSTOMER THAT JUST WALKED IN: samples? samples for what?

holy shit, i am going to be crazy busy this coming week. while many people are already onto their summer break, i’m only nearing finals. i’m already in summer mode and i’ve been having trouble falling asleep early. it’s so bad, and i’m not even drinking a lot of tea lately. i’ve been trying to cut back.

• double shift tomorrow with one hour between the two. that’s why i’m doing homework and studying now.
• agreed to cover my coworker on monday because i saw that she’s working almost every day the coming week and i felt instantly bad. when i needed a cover, someone was there for me and i want to do the same.
• the same day, i also have a shift at night and then a meeting at midnight. might as well stay in the store till midnight. i guess i will bring my stuff to study. connie, study with me? 
• sonnets for theater due and i don’t even know how it’s suppose to be done.
• mother’s day is coming up and i don’t know if i am suppose to do something.
• american studies. i have to get an A in the class, goddammit.
• math test this week, i am going to cry. now i know why so many failed this exam. it’s three chapters combined. who knew? 
• i want to go home but i am home do you see my dilemma. 

i started reading last night for american studies. to my surprise, i was in deep concentration for over two hours. my progress wasn’t to my satisfactory, but at least i was elsewhere rather than just page one. and in reading this book, i realized that to an extent, i completely agree with the author’s words. 

“the advice writers feared appearances were valued more than inner virtues.”

while this is only one line, it describes the victorian’s deepest fears in the 18th century. it also got me thinking and i also realize how much this applies to us as well. people these days are so superficial. they say what you want to hear without any sense of sincerity. it doesn’t matter if you have a good heart or good intentions, whether you decide to volunteer and help out the community or spend your free time finding shelter for homeless animals — what most people in my generation look at is whether you have a pretty face, dress nice and fancy, and what car you drive. 

i rather be by myself than interact with these people. i don’t need anyone to give me false sense of security, let my guard down, and stab me in the back after. there’s no need for friendship if it’s as superficial as this. i rather be alone, trust no one, and watch tv.

PROFESSOR: we’re just going to be reading the first four chapters
PROFESSOR: don’t read more
PROFESSOR: you can and it will help you, but you are not required
PROFESSOR: i won’t make you read the WHOLE book
PROFESSOR: i don’t have such high expectations from you
ME: *finally starts page one*
ME: *realizes four chapters is majority of the book anyway*

• i’m thirsty what should i get to drink
• what’s for dinner tonight
• grr i miss my bed 
• feelin’ anti social in this hot weather
• why does my professor keep his hair so long
• does it not get oily
• i need to pee
• when is my next paycheck
• i want to buy this and that
• no money so sad
• cries